


Natsukashii

by ThatBohoFemme



Series: The Language of Love [11]
Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, Established Relationship, Hurt No Comfort, Implied spoilers, Insomnia, Late at Night, M/M, RAW 10/1/2018, Seeking answers, Watching Someone Sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 18:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16164521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatBohoFemme/pseuds/ThatBohoFemme
Summary: He should be relieved. Sure, Dean's off but at the end of the night, it's Roman he comes home with. That should tell him everything he needs to know and yet, it doesn't.Dean's the one book Roman's never been able to read. It's not for the sake of trying. It's not like Dean'sHop On PoporWhere The Wild Things Are. No, he's the equivalent to a Dostoyevsky novel- read by many, understood by few and analyzed for the ages.





	Natsukashii

**Author's Note:**

> Implied spoilers for Monday Night RAW 10/1/2018

__**Natsukashii  
** Adjective  
Missed, precious, yearned for, 'dear old ... 

Try as he might, Roman finds he cannot sleep. He's tried but he's restless. He curls up, the familiar pillow beneath his shoulder. Dean sleeps against him- one arm thrown around Roman's waist. 

He should be relieved. Sure, Dean's off but at the end of the night, it's Roman he comes home with. That should tell him everything he needs to know and yet, it doesn't. 

Dean's the one book Roman's never been able to read. It's not for the sake of trying. It's not like Dean's _Hop On Pop_ or _Where The Wild Things Are_. No, he's the equivalent to a Dostoyevsky novel- read by many, understood by few and analyzed for the ages. 

Roman usually likes that. It's one of the things that attracted him to Dean in the first place. It's the mystery that keeps him coming back. Roman knows he'll never stop trying to understand the mystique of Dean Ambrose. 

He knows it was a foolish decision to interfere in that match. Seth chewed him out after the fact. They're trying to keep Dean focused on them, the outside world and the task at hand. It's nearly impossible to keep him out of his head. 

Really, he blames Braun and Co. for this fact. Braun wants the title. He doesn't care what mental damage he inflicts on Dean as long as he gets his way. As to Ziggler and McIntyre, who the hell knows? He suspects it's got more to do with the fact Seth took Ziggler's title. 

Dean's merely a casualty of war. 

This fact kills Roman. 

He manages to slip out of Dean's grasp. Reaching over, he pulls the blankets over his love's splayed body and presses a soft kiss to his forehead. The more he lies there wide awake, the more he risks waking Dean and that's the _last_ thing he wants. 

He wanders over to his suitcase and digs out the nip of Scotch. He carries it for nights like this. Maybe a little liquid courage will point him in the right direction...

He knocks the shot back in a single gulp, ignoring the burn. It's supposed to help his anxiety and those feelings he can't quite understand and yet, it does nothing. 

He wanders out to the balcony, overlooking Seattle. Washington is beautiful this time of year. He sits quietly, absorbing the lights and the noise. 

As he sits, he dreams of days gone by. The Dean before that year long ordeal was different. He laughed. He smiled. He didn't care about prestige or glory. 

He was content to do his thing but help his loved ones. 

That's the Dean Roman misses. 

There's this weird hollow look that Roman can't explain. Sometimes, in the throes of passion, he stares down at Dean and their eyes connect for the briefest moment. 

In that singular moment, Roman sees hints of the Dean that was. 

It makes his heart ache to see that look quickly replaced by the hollowness that's become their new normal. 

He wants his babe back. He wants the Dean who laughed. He wants the Dean who smiled. He wants the Dean he fell in love with. He's got the mystery but this is the exact mystery Roman hates. 

Who broke his love so thoroughly? 

The press of soft lips on the back of his neck pull him back to reality. He would jump but he knows it's just Dean, probably up for a bathroom break or rolling over to find himself alone. 

"Yeah?" Roman turns to stare up at Dean. For just an instance, their eyes connect. As Dean's eyes are mussed with sleep, Roman sees the innocence, the joy and the life he misses so much. As Dean wakes up, the spark of life fades to that bitter place Roman desperately wants to know. 

"Woke up and you were gone." Dean shrugs. "You promised you'd always be here." He offers Roman his hand. "I mean- you were but..." 

"Sorry, Babe. Needed to get some air." Roman leans over, pecking Dean on the lips. He hopes Dean can't taste the Scotch. 

"Don't worry about Australia. We got this." 

Clearly, Dean can taste the alcohol. He assumes it's just a by-product of their upcoming match. It appears he would never once assume he's the cause of the worry. 

"Should probably get back to bed." Roman rises, accepting Dean's hand. 

As they walk back into the room, Roman turns to take in the lights one last time. As he does, his lips move in a silent promise. 

He vows to love Dean through it all and should he be lucky enough, bring their boy back to the surface. 

-Fin-


End file.
